11 epic fails in Hollywood movies that are related to Russia

1. Independence Day (1996)

The world faces imminent destruction, and Americans are watching news from Russia, but it's still called “Soviet Central News,” even though the USSR collapsed in 1991. (15 min 1 sec)

Strange map of Russia. Novosibirsk gets extra letters (Novosyoyrsk), Moscow moved to the Urals, and instead of St. Petersburg we see Petrograd – the city's name in 1914-1924. 

Russian military headquarters is located near a church, and if it's camouflage then why are these warplanes not covered? (1 hour 42 min)

At headquarters, the Russian military for some strange reason prefers candles instead of electric lights. Again 1914?

2. The Bourne Identity (2002), and The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

Everything was fine until Bourne found his Russian passport (17 min).  In Russian, his name is written as Ащьф ЛШТШФУМ (Ascshf LSHTSHFUM), which somehow is translated as Foma Kiniaev (yes, an ‘ordinary’ Russian name). Of course, the Russian letters are absolutely meaningless nonsense.

The filmmakers tried to fix this fail in the movie sequel, The Bourne Supremacy, but something went wrong again  - the ‘I’ (И) is one too many here, and the surname is Kiniyaev instead of Kiniaev. Moscow again is written as “Moscou.” (1 hour 18 min)

In Moscow, Bourne is looking for a girl, and a woman tells him her address – 16 Otradnaya Street. However, if he'd search for the street as it was written in the subtitles, he'd never find it. (1 hour 24 min).

3. RED (2010)

Everybody knows that in Russia it’s always cold, which is why when Frank Moses comes to the Russian Embassy we see snow all around, and Marvin wears a winter hat and parka. The embassy’s building is decorated by a bear, of course. (44 min 35 sec)

When Moses enters the building we see many titles, one of which has the meaning - careful analysis («Тщательный анализ»). We don’t know what is “sostrazanne” (and why it's 45 percent), as well as “format direktivy.” Other words are just a bunch of symbols that mean nothing. (45 min)

4. Fantastic Four (2005)

The creators of the Fantastic Four movie came up with a fantastic name for the ship – the “Toe head” (Головка пальца ноги) (1 hours 37 min).

5. A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

In the beginning we see the case of John McClane’s son, written in Russian. Again, the Hollywood script writers forgot that in Russia we first write the date and then the month.

The main heroes decide to cross the Russian-Ukrainian border unnoticed after stealing a Maybach (why do they think it’s the best idea?) that they broke into with a kind of metal bar. Of course, there was no alarm; the car owner probably spent all his money on the vehicle. (59 min)

In the U.S., some places show the number of a town's inhabitants on road signs. But Russia and Ukraine don't have such a tradition. (Here we see: “Pripyat, population 50,000”) (1 hour 2 min 38 sec)

6. Iron Man 2 (2010)

Russia is integral to this superhero movie, but it seems quite certain that the script writers didn’t have a Russian-speaking adviser. For example, on the screen instead of “Live” we see "At present” (Теперь). (54 sec., 17 min. 18 sec.) And there's "U.S. Senators a question Tony Stark;" instead of “U.S. Senators question Tony Stark.”

When the squad of bad robots aims at visitors to the exhibition, we are shown a screen that says  "target," in which it’s written in Russian that something "prohibits passage according to the references available in the document." (запрещает проход по ссылкам, имеющимся в документе) (1 hour 39 min)

Then – “Allows passage according to the references available in the document. ” (разрешает проход по ссылкам, имеющимся в документе).

7. RocknRolla (2009)

In Guy Ritchie’s world, Russian oligarchs do business not only through negotiations. At the same time, English subtitles often do not coincide with the speech of ‘Russian’ actors. For example, the phrase “I want you to keep an eye on this snake” was translated as “I want you and the czar to keep an eye on her.” What czar? (49 min)

8. Salt (2010)

Of course, when making a film about a gorgeous Russian secret agent the producers have to add all sorts of things with Cyrillic titles. But does she really need to keep on her CIA desk a pennant with the words, “To participants in the fighting in Chechnya.” Really? It's strange there were no matryoshkas and balalaikas at her home. (5 min 26 sec).

Orlov’s questioning: Vassily instead of Vassilievich (9 min 11 sec).

9. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011)

The new Russia is so cool. Seems this is the poshest prison in Russia, and the walls are illuminated like the Hermitage. (2 min 14 sec)

Hollywood still saves money not hiring Russian-speaking advisers. The title at the security monitor is just a random set of letters (4 min 28 sec).

It's 2011, but in central Moscow we see an old payphone that costs two Soviet kopeks. (17 min 45 sec, and 19 min 38 sec).

This payphone turns into a device for secret communications, and shows Tom Cruise his new Russian documents with the name of “Anatoly Fedorov,” that will help him to penetrate the Kremlin. (18 min 37 sec)

At the Kremlin, however, he somehow became “Alexander Samokhvalov.” (22 min 49 sec)

Again, thrilling news from Mother Russia. Does anybody know what’s “Red Schuare“ (Ред Счуаре)? (36 min 25 sec).

We just wonder if all secret suitcases have the words, “Status of the Russia nuclear warhead,” even without its name?

The Russian alphabet has 33 letters, but the villain’s keyboard has only 29. (1 hour 49 min 18 sec)

10. The Fate of the Furious (2017)

Cool guys, chases and the eight part of the famous movie series. Car racers go to Russia's Arctic region, to the unknown area of Vladovin. Of course, it's best to do it with a red supercar. (1 hour 29 min 45 sec)

Why did they write “dangerous” on the helicopter? (1 hour 31 min)

11. John Wick (2014)

Our list ends with this thriller. Does anyone know why the Russian mafia refers to Wick as “Baba Yaga”? Strange that the killer has a nickname of an old fairytale witch that lives in a forest and eats children. 

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